Some people are more preferable compared to others in society. One basic reason for this is “their recognition of the importance of being in a conforming spirit.”
Almost everyone frequently comes across with people who have such spirit of opposition throughout their lives. Such people are in a “spirit of objection” to almost every incident happening and every word uttered around them. What they actually desire is not to find the truth, correct an error, prevent something inappropriate to happen, or put forth a better alternative. For no reason at all; whether sensible or non-sense, they tend to offer an “opposing opinion.”
No doubt it is no one other than “satan” who pushes people into this “spirit of objection” and constantly tempts them to cling to this “contrariety.” Satan does not want man to be scrupulous, rational and tolerant; he strives to deter him from putting his trust in Allah, being content with what He grants, giving thanks to Him and displaying moral perfection. He desires man to be like himself; that is to be a rebellious and ungrateful person who can not conform with his environment and other people, does not assume a humble attitude and display modesty.
People who are under the sway of satan immediately attract attention with these attributes. For instance when everyone in a community decide to do engage in an activity, such a person does not participate in that activity. While everyone enjoys, he sits in a corner by himself. While everyone laughs at a joke, he prefers to remain quiet. He wants to sit at home when everyone wants to go out or remains awake when everyone sleeps. When asked if he liked something he definitely finds a flaw. If anyone wants him to give an opinion about a subject, he gives an unpleasing answer such as, “Nothing occurs to me.” In solving a problem, he absolutely displays an attitude that will complicate the situation. He never tends to make a minor self-sacrifice if it will help taking care of a situation. Rather, he asks someone else to make that sacrifice. When someone needs help, he absolutely refuses. While he is surrounded by lots of blessings, he puts emphasis on one negative aspect. He complains about almost everything. When someone gives him a gift or makes something good to please him, he immediately finds a flaw and expresses it rather than showing courtesy and thanking him. When someone offers him a food he might like, he refuses in a rude manner.
The sum of such and similar attitudes and styles render such a person “disagreeable.” He presents himself as a person with a constant disagreeable and opposing attitude who finds excuses not to shoulder any responsibility, expresses negative aspects of incidents, complains about everything and feels discontent and dissatisfied.
The fact is however, man is created in a way to be at ease with a person who makes things easier, relieves one’s mind, makes self-sacrifice without making others feel it, conforms to everything that seems reasonable. The objection of such a person never disquiets the other party, for he opposes in a way that complies with wisdom and conscience and objects a point he really finds it important. That is because, rather than being displeasing, a rational, logical and scrupulous opposition is an intervention that will benefit the other side. Determining the right thing to do instead of the wrong one is also in favor of the other side.
Many people in society are familiar with people who are easy going. These people who are rare compared to other character types in society are very much loved by everyone. When someone says a good word, they immediately say something complementing it. When someone pays a compliment to them, they lose no time also complimenting them. Upon hearing a joke, they say something honoring the other side whether they like it or not, or even if the joke is not so humorous. When the other party makes a reasonable offer, they promptly tend to accept it even if they do not feel like it. If they see someone occupied with a work that demands attention, they try not to distract them. When they are in a cheerful environment, they remain lively, talkative and active. When they eat together with friends, they prefer the food the other party likes and requests. If someone needs help for an ardous work at a time when they need rest, they make the other party not feel it and immediately help him. Disputes never occur in places where there are such people, for as well as having a soothing nature themselves, these people also quiet those who act with an opposing spirit.
In societies of ignorance people may display such character with various purposes. They sometimes conduct themselves very candidly and responsively in order to have friends, make themselves loveable to the other party or to have benefits. However this is surely a very short-termed, temporary and deceiving character.
Conducting oneself with a compatible, calming, positive, complementary, relaxing and kind nature purely out of fear of Allah is a beautiful attribute of a believer and a very important reason to love that person. This is a sign of that person’s conscience, wisdom, fear of Allah, faith, will, sincerity, love and sound personality. Moreover this is not a temporary character trait but a stable one.
A believer’s sincerity in this respect becomes apparent from “his non-conformity to people around him about an issue which he conscientiously considers to be erroneous.” He never accords to an unfavorable attitude, a bad word, a derisive joke, an unfair decision, an unlawful act, an attitude or word that is not pleasing to Allah, an immoral behavior, an unkind, intolerant, merciless, unconscionable attitude that is devoid of respect. As well as not conforming to such acts himself, he also definitely does not avoid from showing the right thing to do by saying the best of words.
For this reason every person of faith should ponder upon this important character trait and try to find ways of displaying more compatible attitudes towards Muslims, being more candid and positive, and earning the love of Allah and believers. A person who constantly acts with his conscience throughout a day will see that he will encounter hundreds of details with which he can display this morality. Choosing the best attitude and displaying it will, by Allah’s leave, be the attitude most pleasing to Allah.